Menu
Home
Post Something
Forums
Current Activity
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
Latest activity
News & Features
The Marketplace
Cars for Sale
Engine and Performance
Chassis and Wheels
Exterior and Body
Interior and Cockpit
ICE - In Car Entertainment
Car Shops and Services
Toys and Wares
All Other Stuff
Jobs and Vacancies
Looking For
Members
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
Current Activity
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Reply to thread
See what others are reading now! Try Forums >
Current Activity
Home
Forums
Main Forums
General Talk
Jokes Corner...
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Jay5" data-source="post: 339151" data-attributes="member: 2810"><p>>Customer? : Waiter, do you serve crabs?</p><p>> >Waiter? : Sit down, sir, we serve anyone.</p><p>> >-----------------------------------------</p><p>> >Customer? : Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop? > Waiter? : Can't</p><p>> >you tell the difference by taste? Customer? : No, I can't.</p><p>> >Waiter? : Then does it really matter?</p><p>> >--------------------------------------------</p><p>> >Customer? : Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup.</p><p>> >Waiter? : Yes Sir, they are not very good swimmers.</p><p>> >--------------------------------------------</p><p>> >Customer? : Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.!</p><p>> >Waiter? : That's all right, Sir, he won't drink much.</p><p>> >--------------------------------------------</p><p>> >Customer? : Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup.</p><p>> >Waiter? : So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard?</p><p>> >------------------------------------------------</p><p>> >Customer? : Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea cup?</p><p>> >Waiter? : I wouldn't know, Sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller.</p><p>> >------------------------------------------------</p><p>> >Customer? : Waiter, this soup tastes funny.</p><p>> >Waiter? : Funny? Then why aren't you laughing?</p><p>> >---------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>> >Son? ! : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?</p><p>> >Father? : No. Why do you ask that?</p><p>> >Son? : Well, where did you get mummy then?</p><p>> >---------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>> >Lady? : Is this my train?</p><p>> >Station Master?? : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.</p><p>> >Lady? : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to</p><p>> >Kuala Lumpur.</p><p>> >Station Master?? : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.</p><p>> >--------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>> >Peter? : What! a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and</p><p>> >one</p><p>> >is blue with red spots!</p><p>> >Kirk? : Yes it's really strange. I' ve got another pair of the same at</p><p>> >home.</p><p>> >---------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>> >Teacher?? : Peter, why are you late for school again?</p><p>> >Peter? : Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and the game</p><p>> >went</p><p>> >into extra time.</p><p>> >---------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>> >Wife?? : Do you want dinner?</p><p>> >Husband?? : Sure, what are my choices?</p><p>> >Wife? : Yes and no.</p><p>> >---------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>> >First Guy (proudly) : "My wife's an angel!"</p><p>> >Second Guy?? : "How fortunate you are, mine's still alive."</p><p>> >---------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>> >A girl asked her lover, "Darling, if we get engaged will you give me a</p><p>> >ring?"</p><p>> >"Sure," replied her lover "What's your phone number?"</p><p>> >---------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>> >A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a</p><p>> >commotion</p><p>> >in the gallery.</p><p>> >The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order, order."</p><p>> >The drunkard immediately responded, "Thank you, your honor, I'll have</p><p>> >a scotch and soda."</p><p>> >---------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>> >Customer? : If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Penang in two</p><p>> >days</p><p>> >time?</p><p>> >Post Master? : Well it might do.</p><p>> >Customer? : I bet you, it won't.</p><p>> >Post Master? : Why not?</p><p>> >Customer? : It's addressed to Johor.</p><p>> >---------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>> >An absent-minded man went to see a psychiatrist. 'My trouble is,' he </p><p>>said,</p><p>> >'that I keep forgetting things.'</p><p>> >'How long has! this been going on?' asked the psychiatrist.</p><p>> >'How long has what been going on?' said the man.</p><p>> >---------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>> >Girl? : Do you love me?</p><p>> >Boy? : Yes Dear.</p><p>> >Girl? : Would you die for me?</p><p>> >Boy?? : No, mine is undying love.</p><p>> >---------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>> >1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window!</p><p>> >2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.</p><p>> >1st thief?? : Hurry! this is no time for superstitious.</p><p>> >---------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>> >Man? : How old is your father?</p><p>> >Boy? : As old as me.</p><p>> >Man? : How can that be?</p><p>> >Boy? : He became a father only when I was born.</p><p>> >---------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>> >Teacher?? : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the</p><p>> >field"</p><p>> >Student?? : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field</p><p>> >Teacher?? : How?</p><p>> >Student?? : Ladies first.</p><p>> >---------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>> >Waiter?? : I have stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.</p><p>> >Customer? : Don't tell me your problems. Give the menu card.</p><p>> >---------------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>> >Little Susie came running into the house after school one day, shouting,</p><p>> >"Daddy! Daddy! I got 100 in school today!"</p><p>> >"That's great, Sweetheart," said her daddy. "Come in to the living room </p><p>>and tell me about it."</p><p></p><p>> >"Well,"? began the confession, "I got 50 in spelling, 30 in math and 20 </p><p>>in science."</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Jay5, post: 339151, member: 2810"] >Customer? : Waiter, do you serve crabs? > >Waiter? : Sit down, sir, we serve anyone. > >----------------------------------------- > >Customer? : Waiter, is this a lamb chop or pork chop? > Waiter? : Can't > >you tell the difference by taste? Customer? : No, I can't. > >Waiter? : Then does it really matter? > >-------------------------------------------- > >Customer? : Waiter, there's a dead beetle in my soup. > >Waiter? : Yes Sir, they are not very good swimmers. > >-------------------------------------------- > >Customer? : Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.! > >Waiter? : That's all right, Sir, he won't drink much. > >-------------------------------------------- > >Customer? : Waiter, there's a fly swimming in my soup. > >Waiter? : So what do you expect me to do, call a lifeguard? > >------------------------------------------------ > >Customer? : Waiter, what's the meaning of this fly in my tea cup? > >Waiter? : I wouldn't know, Sir, I'm a waiter, not a fortune teller. > >------------------------------------------------ > >Customer? : Waiter, this soup tastes funny. > >Waiter? : Funny? Then why aren't you laughing? > >--------------------------------------------------------------------- > >Son? ! : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt? > >Father? : No. Why do you ask that? > >Son? : Well, where did you get mummy then? > >--------------------------------------------------------------------- > >Lady? : Is this my train? > >Station Master?? : No, it belongs to the Railway Company. > >Lady? : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to > >Kuala Lumpur. > >Station Master?? : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy. > >-------------------------------------------------------------------- > >Peter? : What! a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and > >one > >is blue with red spots! > >Kirk? : Yes it's really strange. I' ve got another pair of the same at > >home. > >--------------------------------------------------------------------- > >Teacher?? : Peter, why are you late for school again? > >Peter? : Well, Miss, I dreamed that I was playing football and the game > >went > >into extra time. > >--------------------------------------------------------------------- > >Wife?? : Do you want dinner? > >Husband?? : Sure, what are my choices? > >Wife? : Yes and no. > >--------------------------------------------------------------------- > >First Guy (proudly) : "My wife's an angel!" > >Second Guy?? : "How fortunate you are, mine's still alive." > >--------------------------------------------------------------------- > >A girl asked her lover, "Darling, if we get engaged will you give me a > >ring?" > >"Sure," replied her lover "What's your phone number?" > >--------------------------------------------------------------------- > >A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a > >commotion > >in the gallery. > >The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order, order." > >The drunkard immediately responded, "Thank you, your honor, I'll have > >a scotch and soda." > >--------------------------------------------------------------------- > >Customer? : If I post this letter tonight, will it get to Penang in two > >days > >time? > >Post Master? : Well it might do. > >Customer? : I bet you, it won't. > >Post Master? : Why not? > >Customer? : It's addressed to Johor. > >--------------------------------------------------------------------- > >An absent-minded man went to see a psychiatrist. 'My trouble is,' he >said, > >'that I keep forgetting things.' > >'How long has! this been going on?' asked the psychiatrist. > >'How long has what been going on?' said the man. > >--------------------------------------------------------------------- > >Girl? : Do you love me? > >Boy? : Yes Dear. > >Girl? : Would you die for me? > >Boy?? : No, mine is undying love. > >--------------------------------------------------------------------- > >1st thief : Oh ! The police is here. Quick! Jump out of the window! > >2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor. > >1st thief?? : Hurry! this is no time for superstitious. > >--------------------------------------------------------------------- > >Man? : How old is your father? > >Boy? : As old as me. > >Man? : How can that be? > >Boy? : He became a father only when I was born. > >--------------------------------------------------------------------- > >Teacher?? : Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the > >field" > >Student?? : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field > >Teacher?? : How? > >Student?? : Ladies first. > >--------------------------------------------------------------------- > >Waiter?? : I have stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg. > >Customer? : Don't tell me your problems. Give the menu card. > >--------------------------------------------------------------------- > >Little Susie came running into the house after school one day, shouting, > >"Daddy! Daddy! I got 100 in school today!" > >"That's great, Sweetheart," said her daddy. "Come in to the living room >and tell me about it." > >"Well,"? began the confession, "I got 50 in spelling, 30 in math and 20 >in science." [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
The Marketplace Latest
R35 GTR 2020 Original Rim Wheels
Started by
aycy
Chassis and Wheels
Greddy Trust R35 Y Pipe GTR GTR35 Exhaust Used
Started by
aycy
Exterior and Body
Nissan Silvia S15 Door Trim Card Panel Bride
Started by
aycy
Interior and Cockpit
Atlas Force UHP Used Tire Tyre 275 35 20
Started by
aycy
Chassis and Wheels
R35 GTR Ohlins Adjustable Suspension
Started by
aycy
Chassis and Wheels
Nismo LMGT4 40th Anniversary 18x9.5+12 White
Started by
aycy
Chassis and Wheels
Rays G025 18 inch VW Audi S3 A45 CLA45 Golf MK7 MK8 Rim
Started by
aycy
Chassis and Wheels
S13 S14 S15 Used Drift Rim Tire Set
Started by
aycy
Chassis and Wheels
R35 Used Titanium Exhaust
Started by
aycy
Engine and Performance
PWR FL5 / FK8 Street Radiator 42MM
Started by
aycy
Engine and Performance
Posts refresh every 5 minutes
Need Advice on Springs/absorbers
Hi sifus,
I'm about to do a full service on my car and i wanna change my absorbers. Any advice on which set up i should change? Should i use standard absorbers with lowered springs or just get an adjustable...
Altezza 6 Speed Manual Half Cut
ALTEZZA 6 SPEED MANUAL HALF CUT RM7500 INTERESTED PLS CALL 012-3367457 FRANKIE
View attachment 609717
View attachment 609718
Welcome to MLOC Forum
View attachment 601965
Hello All,
Welcome !! Selamat Datang !!!
We are the united owners of Mitsubishi Lancer and it's variants, be it a Mitsubishi Lancers Saloon, Lancers Mivec, Lancer GLX, Lancer MX...
Recent Posts
Looking for 2.5-16 cosworth halfcut for 190E
Started by
Tuanku.J
Euro
Thrills and Spills at Zhuhai: Porsche Carrera Cup Asia Rounds 3 & 4 Recap
Started by
The_Mechanic
News and Features
Proton Records High Demand for S70 with 1 Unit Booked every 4 minutes
Started by
The_Mechanic
News and Features
Toyota Malaysia Enters Regional GT Racing with TGR Racing Malaysia
Started by
The_Mechanic
News and Features
Home Win and Double Podium for Akash Nandy at Sepang Season Opener
Started by
The_Mechanic
News and Features
Search
Online now
Enjoying Zerotohundred?
Log-in
for an ad-less experience
Home
Forums
Main Forums
General Talk
Jokes Corner...