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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 2901564" data-attributes="member: 14320">Funny Sexual PositionsAll The Sexual Positions That You Can Try With Your Special Someone Tonight!Snowball: Ah yes, every man's worst nightmare, the dreaded snowball. This happens when a girl blows you and spits the jizz in your mouth. Another definition is when a girl blows some other guy, and then gives you a hot sloppy kiss with some of that guy's fresh jizz still in her mouth. With all those dirty broads out there, odds are it has happened to you. Just ask your friends if it has, cause they probably already know and have been laughing their asses off at you.Rear Admiral: An absolute blast. When getting a chick from behind (while both partners standing), make sure you don't let her grab on to anything when she is bent over. Then, drive you hips into her backside so that you end up pushing her forwards. The goal is to push her into a wall or table. It's almost as much fun watching her face hit the floor. You rise to Admiral status when you can bang her around the room without crashing into anything and not using your hands to grab onto her hips.Pablocopter: Ok, you start ramming her from behind, then you bust all in your condom. You slip it off, tie it off in a knot and swing it around while you sing Petey Pablo's line of, "Swing it like a helicopter."Polish Abortion: Well, you can do this after the Pablocopter, you tie the condom in a knot, then you throw it against the wall and yell, "That fucker ain't going nowhere." That's how the polish have an abortion.Turkey Gobbler: Ok, when a girl is giving you dome, you punch her right it her stomach, so you knock the wind out of her. With all the air rushing out of her mouth, you shove your cock down her throat. The wind will hit your dick and should make a noise like a gobbling turkey.French Revolution: After discovering your girlfriend is cheating on you, arrange a romantic encounter for that evening. Prior to her arrival, jerk off ferociously five or six times, making an erection impossible. She will begin to blow you, and her failure to charm the old snake will only make her slobber much more intensely. Now, scream out the name of the dude she's been banging as you fill her mouth with pee.Table Time: This is when you are bending someone over a table doggy style, and right as you are about to cum in the heat of the moment you ask them "What time is it?" When they look back at you confused and say, "What?" You then slam their head into the table and say "It's Table time Bitch"Tabasco Breakup: Before sex, you replace your trusty everyday lube with 5-6 ounces of flaming hot Tabasco sauce and liberally apply it to the outside of your condom. Now I'm not talking about that mild, weak shit that you get at Taco Bell, I am talking about that silly hot dark green shit that you can only find in the dark jungles of some unknown foreign country. After you've greased up, you quickly slide it in and give her about 2-8 quick pumps, pull out and roll over snickering and watch the bitch break the sound barrier as she runs for the bathroom holding her burning cooch. You tell her it is supposedly some sort of new strain of incurable STD, and finish up the relationship by emptying her purse and stealing her car.</blockquote>

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