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Message: <blockquote data-quote="melody" data-source="post: 2897277" data-attributes="member: 14320"><p><strong>SAFE SEX TIPS</strong></p><p><strong></strong></p><p><strong>These days, safe sex isn't just a good idea, it's a</strong></p><p><strong>matter of life or death. Here are some valuable tips</strong></p><p><strong>to help you "play it safe":</strong></p><p></p><p>* Do not blow dealers for crack; blow regular citizens</p><p>for cash, then buy the crack directly.</p><p></p><p>* Think about parents' nude bodies during foreplay;</p><p>resultant loss of erection will prevent potential</p><p>unsafe sex.</p><p></p><p>* Wash hands thoroughly before fisting goat.</p><p></p><p>* Under no circumstances should you give CPR to a stranger.</p><p></p><p>* Avoid dipping penis in buckets of AIDS-infected blood.</p><p></p><p>* Don't fall for lines like, "God protects his servants in</p><p>the clergy from harm."</p><p></p><p>* Pull out cat's teeth before pouring gravy over vagina.</p><p></p><p>* Do not, no matter how much peers may pressure you, allow</p><p>anyone to get to third base with you.</p><p></p><p>* Make sure all open sores on penis have thoroughly dried</p><p>and scabbed over before use.</p><p></p><p>* When taking four cocks in the ass, make sure to have an</p><p>equal amount of cock in your mouth to reduce the risk of</p><p>CHI imbalance.</p><p></p><p>* Stock up on free safe-sex pamphlets at local health clinic;</p><p>use them to make paper-mache genital wrap.</p><p></p><p>* Before fellating anonymous man in back room of gay bar,</p><p>be sure to ask, "You don't have AIDS, do you?"</p><p></p><p>* Douse penis liberally with D-Con roach spray before</p><p>penetrating ape.</p><p></p><p>* You CAN get it from kissing -- tear out partner's tongue</p><p>before any mouth-to-mouth contact.</p><p></p><p>* To prevent radiation exposure, use only lead-based condoms.</p><p></p><p>* Avoid talking to homosexuals at all costs.</p><p></p><p>* If you must engage in unsafe sex, take time out beforehand</p><p>to hope for the best.</p></blockquote><p></p>

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